


Destined to Fight Destiny

by ironwidow



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Arranged Marriage, Canon-Typical Violence, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Drama, F/M, Marriage of Convenience, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Way Too Many Tags, lots of heavy stuff, that soulmate au where they feel each other's pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 10:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15579801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironwidow/pseuds/ironwidow
Summary: In an Alternate Universe were soulmates, after meeting, feel each other's pain, Natalia Romanova meets the Winter Soldier during the Red Room Academy era - and their lives are never the same again.





	Destined to Fight Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone!  
> I know it has been a long while since I last posted anything at all in Ao3, but this fic is something I have had in my mind for a long time.  
> It's based on the AU where soulmates can feel each other's pain and have marks on their body (like scars or bruises) exactly like their soulmate's AFTER they meet their soulmate.  
> I hope you guys enjoy it! Feel free to drop any comments and/or questions you have.

Some say love does not hurt. What hurts is the loneliness, the rejection, the loss. But those are not to be confused love – love is the only thing that lets us heal from such horrors.

That is what some would say. But those are surely not from this world. Or they have yet to experience _real_ love because real love does hurt. Lives are all simple and gentle until you meet the one that is meant to make you the happiest person in the world; then, everything changes. They fall from their bike and you feel it. They break a leg, and you feel it. They run out of air during a swim that goes for too long – and you feel it, too. Some would say love does not hurt, but they are wrong.

***

**Soviet Union, 1950’s.**

Natalia Romanova would be a simple woman if she weren’t enclosure in the Red Room Academy, thrown at the wolves by her own adoptive father, Ivan Petrovich, and training. People should ask what she is training for, but, most days, she isn’t sure – is she training to become a soldier, a spy? Then why is her head filled with memories of training ballet in the Bolshoi theatre? It doesn’t matter, most days.

She is no simple woman and she has no simple life.

The other twenty-five girls training with her see her as freak. Not only because she is better than them in everything, not only because their custodian, the Headmistress, prefers Natalia over all of them. Even over her own daughter. The reason they see her as a freak is because every night they sit on their beds, sharing stories of their loved ones. How that one bruise they have on their leg was a scar from their soulmate’s last bike ride. And Natalia never shares anything. Even though her body is covered in bruises and scars, she does not share any stories with all the other girls.

They all know she is promised to Alexi Shostakov, the most promising pilot the Soviet Union has ever seen. Her father and _his_ father have made sure their engagement is common knowledge by everyone in the Academy – the best spy and the best pilot, together, could only make the perfect couple. That is why all the girls wonder why Natalia speaks so little of Alexi. Why she doesn’t share any of their common bruises. What they do not know is that Natalia can’t feel any of Alexi’s pain. If life was easy and perfect, she would have been promised to her soulmate. But life is miserable, and that means Alexi isn’t the one fate has created for her. But he is the one she is destined to marry – a destiny created not by destiny itself, but their parents.

She knows their family knows about her predicament; that her soulmate and her fiancé aren’t the same person. Despite that, no one dares speak a word. Natalia and Alexei are both liars and good pretenders. No one really knows who her real soulmate is (or his, for that matter), so it’s easy for her to pretend she is in love with him. And Alexei only ever cares about his reputation. Being a respecting husband will only do good to him. Plus, it shows he is good at following orders. They both are.

Despite such ability to pretend their life is out of a fairytale, the two lovers barely see each other. Maybe if they spent more time together Natalia could learn to _like_ him, maybe even feel something akin to love; but the dinners they attend together are only ever a power display between soldiers of the KGB and members of the Red Room Academy. Politics are discussed, money, state secrets. Everyone gets along, but there is no room left for intimacy or privacy. Natalia feels like she barely knows Alexi, and, in a way, it is true. But she knows she will never meet her real soulmate. And even if, in a moment of luck, she ever met them, they would surely never be allowed to be together.

*

The day Natalia’s superiors tell her a new soldier will be joining the Academy to help her and the others in the Black Widow Program, she is happy for a change. She has heard some mysterious tales about this man. About the danger he poses to their American opponents and the danger he poses _in general_ to anyone who crosses his path. He is almost invisible and absolutely untouchable. Once he is set to go after someone, no one ever hears of said person again. He makes the toughest killers sound like children’s toys. So, Natalia knows – if he is as good and dangerous as everyone says, she is about to suffer quite a lot in his hands. That means her soulmate will finally get a taste of his own medicine and suffer the pain she has been suffering with him.

Even though she waits quite a few days to finally meet her new trainer, she doesn’t know what to expect when she first enters the training compound. Everyone had a lot to say about him, but the stories were so many and so strange that Natalia eventually shut off all the voices to quiet her own mind. When he arrived, however, the voices stopped altogether. No one seemed brave enough to utter a word now that he was present.

Today she isn’t followed by anyone inside the warehouse where she usually trains; the guards both stay outside once she walks in. That’s news for her; not once was she ever alone in this hell of a place.

Her steps are quiet when she walks inside. The place is dark and cold, just as usual. A few windows close to the ceiling let the moonlight in, but it’s barely enough to light up the room. But Natalia is no strange to this place and while it might have scared her the first time she stepped foot in here, it doesn’t scare her anymore. In the farthest corner of the room, she sees a human shadow and knows immediately it is him – the Winter Soldier. The pale-yellow light that comes from the windows lands on his left arm, and where Natalia would have expected to see skin, she sees only silver metal. One might have stared for a bit too long, but she doesn’t.  _Weird_ isn’t a word in this place, only because everyone has their own secrets. A metal arm is nothing compared to the amount of crazy the redhead has to deal with every day.

            “What’s your name?” The man speaks, and she can’t quite determine if the voice excites her or frightens her. A mix of both is most likely the answer.

            “Natalia Romanova.”

The Winter Soldier steps forward, but the metal arm is still all Natalia’s eyes can see. All the girls here have been trained to see better in the dark than your regular human, but, for some reason, tonight everything looks darker than usual. And that’s why she doesn’t see it coming. A strong blow to the stomach followed by a hand tightly grasping her throat. It’s so predictable that Natalia mentally curses herself for having dropped her defenses when walking into this building, expecting nothing more than just to meet the _legend_ everyone had been talking about. Of course, no one could ever earn the reputation this man has by offering comfort and “hellos”. She _should_ have expected him to attack her as soon as she walked in. He is there to train her. It should have been predictable.

But she wasn’t expecting it, and the air is quick to leave her lungs, with quick (but weak) attempts to free herself from his grip. Red. She sees _red_ , redder than the color that envelops her hair. And there is anger, frustration. Pathetic. _Pathetic, pathetic_. The Headmistress’ voice rings in her ears as if she is right there beside them, blaming Natalia for being sloppy. The way she tries push him away is barely worthy of a girl who has been called by many “the greatest student the Red Room Academy has ever seen”.

_Pathetic_.

What is truly unexpected is that, just a few seconds after he attacks her, he backs off with a loud grunt, as if he had been the one who had just been punched and choked. Natalia takes a few steps back and tries to grasp for air, with a dry mouth and a head that feels too heavy. Her slim fingers reach for her throat and gently caress the skin, skin that will surely be marked from the hand that had just been around it. She feels weak and wants to run, or maybe just fall to the floor and let the ground eat her alive, but _God_ , the whole Academy should burn to the ground if their strongest student gave such a sign of defeat. The future Black Widow is stronger than this.

In front of her, the Winter Soldier is still managing to learn how to breathe properly again. It is not usually this hard for him to recompose himself 

after being in any sort of pain – pain is an old friend, a reminder of his existence in this world -, but this is different. This has meanings that cannot be meddled with in this place. Maybe he is losing his mind or maybe he has not lost it, yet, but it is already playing tricks on him. Either way, the pain is very real (the only real thing he can ever feel) and he knows, for sure, that the redheaded girl in front of him had not managed to lay a single finger on him. Just like he knows that the pain in his stomach and neck should be exactly the same as she is feeling. And there is only one damned thing in this world that makes two people feel each other’s pain. His eyes land on the fragile figure in front of him and the breath he is trying to regain takes longer to get there. He will keep this secret like his life depended on it – because it _does_. Like does hers. Not in a thousand years would the Academy, or the KGB, or even the Kremlin, ever let them be together. Maybe this messed up world decided they would be soulmates, but they make no decisions on their own life. The Winter Soldier was not made to be hers, and she was not made to be his.

When Natalia is sure her voice will not fail her, she turns to the Winter Soldier to question him about this attitude – not the attack, but the decision to step back like she had just punched him in the face. But he is no longer in the building when she looks up. That night, Natalia returns to her dorm with a hammering sensation on her chest, heart pounding like it is ready to jump out of her.

_Some say love does not hurt. But those are surely not from this world._


End file.
